Mother and Self Trauma

NLP techniques used to resolve conflictual relationships between the self and the mother image in the case of a mid 40's female

Mother and Self Trauma

Posted by Mia Pal on

The challenge

L.L. was in her mid 40's when we started working together on two of the issues that had been shadowing her entire life: the relationship she had with herself and with her mother. Although very successful in her career, extremely bright and caring mother herself L.L.'s darkest secret, which she managed to keep away from everybody, was how she viewed herself, the deep unacceptance and hate towards herself and her mother.

Due to her upbringing and social strict etiquette imposed by her family she was never able to address these issues and understand her own feelings as she was growing up. She was never allowed to question her mother authority and to have a voice. She tried to intelectualise and find rational excuses for how she was feeling. She tried turning to art, literature, to help her soothe the constant inner pain but although these were helping her mind, emotionally she didn't feel she had a way out.

The effect

As an adult, she chose a career that would appreciate non emotional personas and she excelled whilst the internal conflicts kept eating her away. She managed to build and maintain great relationships socially and professionally due to her great charisma and capacity to hide her real feelings.

Later, the conflict developed in her personal relationships with men and people she wanted to love. Whenever somebody she cared about would reciprocate and express their love she would immediately doubt them. She would feel that they lie and she felt she didn't deserve to be loved. Her words were '' For sure he can't be right , it would be unnatural if he felt that way about me!''

Whenever she ran this feeling she would see the image of her mother, which triggered an image of '' vomiting'' ( client reference). This feeling was so strong that it would physically make her feel sick to her stomach, triggering feelings of guilt towards the mother. For this reason she turned to religion and spirituality, but her anxiety only deepened. Also it became more and more difficult and tiring to hide the pain from others.


Although L.L. was intellectually clear and aware that the believes she was carrying along were sabotaging her happiness, she couldn't detach emotionally . When we started working together she decided that she was ready to change her beliefs. We used hypnotic coach timeline process to bring understanding, forgiveness and reconciliation between the child, the teeanger the adult and the Mother who was the main root cause of the conflict.

It was required at times due to the intense pain experienced to ask L.L to step off the timeline in order to dissociate . She felt more in control this way. We also used parts integration process on numerous ocassions to bring together in a balanced harmonius union the two main parts ( people) in her mind who were fighting for control. She felt that by doing this exercise more often more and more of who she really wanted to be resurfaced and made her feel peace. We worked together a total of 50 hours which also included hypnotherapy sessions and traditional coaching after the intitial conflicts had been removed.


After the successful imprinting with new belives that L.L. wanted for herself, she felt '' as if for the first time in my life I can breathe, as if I really have a heart inside and I feel worthy.'' She also wrote: '' Working and talking to you, has been changing me from a moment to another...just like the marigold tea does when you have a stomach ache. You really feel its soothing effect on the wound..'.'

Mia Pal
Mia Pal

NLP Life Coach, NLP Life & Communication Specialist, Life Transformation Coach, Master Hypnotist, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Time Line Coach & Trauma Release Specialist, Dream Sculpting