Understanding the Mother Baby Bond

There is an assumption that all Mothers will naturally bond with their baby, yet babies are naturally hardwired to seek strong attachment from you too. Babies seek security and we want to provide it. Babies are born ready to love and to be loved. For most parents it’s a natural instinct to love their child, but also to install in them an intrinsic knowledge that they are lovable, which is the foundation of self-esteem.

But despite a strong intention to bond, new parents can fret about it, especially if prone to anxiety. Being a parent is no doubt the hardest job on the planet, but one that brings such joy and fulfilment. The job doesn’t come with a training manual, but attachment theory and a Positive Parenting approach encourages us to view children as our instruction manual, as from the moment they are born, they are able to best tell us what they need. Above all they need to be cherished. Cherishment is being “in relationship” with each other, and being able to attune to your baby’s emotional needs.

Being “in relationship” is a moment by moment response to our baby’s needs, this is called The Dance of Attunement. It’s a system of emotional synchronicity, the back and forth of tiny interactions of facial gazing, cooing, babbling as much as feeding and nappy changing.  You cannot have attachment without attunement, it’s the building block of relationship and it begins in the womb.

Attunement feeds a hungry heart and creates a strong anchor as a secure base to introduce your child to a trustworthy world because you are responding to their signals, enabling a child to take risks and grow into a healthy, emotionally balanced person.