Confidence to apply for promotion

The challenge

My client wanted more confidence. She wanted the confidence to apply for a vacancy that was advertised, that was a sideways move but to a male-dominated part of the establishment, and she was afraid to apply in case she didn’t get it because she didn’t last time when it was offered to a man. She felt she had had low self-esteem since she was young.

The effect

My client knew she was playing safe in a job that she was perfectly happy in, a position where she was popular and knew she was having an impact. A position that validated her and was comfortable. But she would catch herself criticising herself that she could achieve more and was feeling resentful of those men who were achieving or leaving for promotions. And she knew she didn't apply for other roles because she was worried about what other people think - she would catch herself watching the audience in meetings which would then make her hesitate, imagine what they were thinking about her, lose track of what she was saying, panic and stutter, then after feel bad and doubt herself telling herself she wasn't good enough. She felt she had got where she was by luck as she had done a passionate interview - she had felt validated and she felt headhunted. 

Solution

We worked together for 6 one-hour sessions. I supported her to reframe her experience of the last interview where she was not offered the job and used disassociation to help her identify her leadership skills and how other people see her. I shared Satir body language for rapport to add to her existing skills and Milton language to use to influence. We visualised her previous successful interview and built a personal resource anchor of confidence followed by future timeline of an interview. The client applied for the job.  She was not shortlisted and felt 'taken for a ride' so we looked at her values and the values of her organisation which led her to decide perhaps she would be better leaving. When she found herself hesitating and justifying why she shouldn’t apply and perhaps she should 'just bob along', we used parts integration to gain clarity: it was okay to stay in the present role she enjoys or to leave for a promotion, and she did 'want more'. We identified what behaviours in others triggered her self doubt and reframed. We identified what self-esteem is like for her and when she has it.

Result

You have no idea what you have done for me. I have my sparkle back. My husband has noticed my confidence. Since working with you, I am a happier and better person and I am indebted to you for opening my eyes. I felt comfortable being open and honest in our sessions and love that I can now put a different slant on situations. I now feel confident to apply for jobs I would not previously have dreamed of going for. I have applied for three and I am equally happy whether I get them or not - I won't take it personally- I have momentum.. Followed up with, great news I passed the preliminary interview for one and have been shortlisted for the next round. Yay! I’m okay that I haven’t heard from the others - I don't feel rejected, it's just obviously not the right place for me.