Speaking up in meetings

The challenge

Lyndsey struggled with confidence at work, having recently returned from maternity leave. She could not find a way to speak up on meetings. She had some useful things to say but could not find the right moment to speak up, and when she did it was presented in a very confused or complicated way.

This made the situation worse as time went on, and Lyndsey didn't want to speak in meetings at all. She had tried asking for mentoring help and manager's feedback and support but nothing was working. Her stress levels were increasing and had begun to experience health problems.

The effect

"Before my NLP coaching, I felt very nervous at work, and very underconfident about attending meetings. Before my maternity leave I had always been very good at speaking up and finding the moment to speak, but now I felt awful inside, really awkward and not my normal self. My face was often going red when I spoke, and I kept messing up what I wanted to say.

I became more stressed and started experiencing headaches and tiredness so that I didn't want to go into work. I asked my manager about the confidence in meetings and she just said I'd be fine in time, and not to worry about speaking up. But I didn't feel I was doing myself justice and I felt that I needed a different type of support. That is when I found Harriet Pemberton and NLP Coaching."

Solution

I had three one-hour NLP coaching sessions with Lyndsey. We rediscovered how she had been able to speak up in the past - there was a structure to that. I reaffirmed the resources she also has to manage her state well in meetings and be able to speak effectively and at the right time.

I also used the NLP model that I created during my NLP Master Practitioner which was called "Maintaining true self when challenged by others" which included reframing the way we think about other people in meetings, taking a breath and pausing before response, using an anchor, and being curious.

Finally we practiced the Perceptual Positions tool and Lyndsey was able to experience her behaviour from key stakeholders' perspectives.

Result

"Harriet's model is making a huge difference. I loved the anchoring technique and find that I can use it in all sorts of situations including when I want to present in front of larger audiences.

The 'Perceptual Positions' really helped me understand what other people are experiencing in meetings, and discover I'd put people on a pedestal. I found it really beneficial to continue working on tools to improve my confidence and communication, and to address imposter syndrome. I found the visualisation methods particularly powerful.

The tools and techniques are really making a difference. I feel better equipped to deal with high level, dynamic situations. This is having a great impact both at work and at home. Harriet has a great style and is a very natural coach. Most importantly Harriet provides psychological safety, which is so appreciated."