Getting students to do what is right

The challenge

As a senior leader in charge of behaviour in a secondary school, I would often find myself called upon to deal with a situation where a young person would not do as they were asked. Prior to learning NLP, this would be a battle of wills, or a drawn out act of compromise. 

The effect

This was a time consuming activity, often full of conflict and one party always felt unsatisfied. Also it would generate paperwork if the situation escalated or couldn't be resolved and the situations causing concern were often leading to loss of learning time for the students and creating a sense of disorder in the school. 

Situation 1 - a student had refused the instructions of several members of staff to go to his lesson and was roaming aimlessly around the school. 

Situation 2 - a student was refusing to wear the school-provided footwear yet again when she arrived at school in her preferred choice of trainers knowing the school rules.

Solution

In both situations students were asked if they were willing to trust me and try something different. In both situations they reluctantly agreed. They were asked to put their hands out in front of them hands up which they did. Both students were asked in which hands they would put

Student 1 - going to his lesson and not going to his lesson

Student 2 - wearing the school footwear and not wearing the school footwear. 

Student 1 need very few more questions to assess his options and just put his hands together, said 'fine' and marched off to his lesson.

Student 2 thought through her options using the questions asked, put her hands together, swore and said, okay I'll wear them. I don't know what you did but I'll wear them. 

Result

Student 1 - stayed in class without argument or disruption if without much work. The teacher was able to have a more detailed conversation later and he continued to attend.

Student 2 - continued to comply with school uniform rules because she was wary about how I had got her to do what she knew was the right thing to do even when she didn't want to do it.