Transforming Negative Beliefs

A co dependency with an ex partner of his had lead him to almost complete shut down and not enjoying life.

Transforming Negative Beliefs

Posted by Simon Dickens on

The challenge

This was a case study that I had to produce for my Diploma with the ANIMAS School. 

Client presented with several major problems. A co dependency with an ex partner of his had lead him to almost complete shut down and not enjoying life. This mixed with Tourette's and not being "appropriate" verbally at work had lead him to the negative belief that he wasn't good enough for anything.

Other problem that was tackled was a want to get new part of his business started but was finding it difficult to start and even see the benefits of it in the future. Client articulated his issues with a lot of distortions', mind reading and generalisations about what he thought was wrong with his ex partner and the relationship in general. This is also muddied his filters when taking in the world around him/communications with friends and colleagues.

Client had tried CBT and other counselling before talking to me with some benefits but no clear path forward.

The effect

These challenges knocked the confidence out him. He felt he couldn't talk to his friends about how he was truly feeling for fear of "boring them" or pushing them away.

Client also had an inability to finish somethings that was needed to allow him to move on with his life ie closing joint bank account with his ex partner, moving items out of the house that belonged to her and really saying goodbye. The other major effect was that he felt he wasn't good enough professionally because he had had several complaints made against him from clients and negative feedback from trainers.

This in turn was making him feel physically anxious when on his way to work.


First thing I did was to ask him about the negative feedback from clients and trainers to see if it was ALL justified after investigations. It wasn't and he told that only 1 or 2 of them were actually correct.

I then spoke to him about the distortions', mind reading and generalisations that where coming up when speaking about his ex or others at work. This allowed him to settle a little and realise that he actually didn't REALLY know what others were thinking or feeling. He again seemed to settle a little and reflected on his interactions with others.

The next was to build confidence. I asked him what he had actually achieved in life. Once he had gone through his list he was able to remember what he HAD achieved and what he COULD achieve with a more positive mindset. The client, by the end of 6 sessions, had arranged to move his ex partners belongings out and arranged to close the bank account.


Direct Testimonial. Simon is very good at listening. He uses a variety of methods and tailors the sessions to your individual needs. I have found the sessions with Simon incredibly therapeutic and helpful.

Simon Dickens
Simon Dickens

I’m fully qualified, insured and safety checked in both NLP and life coaching. 16 years in public service roles including police, NHS and teaching.