Putting your skills in a handbag!

The challenge

My client, an MBA student and insurance agent, faced a persistent issue during negotiations with senior managers at her insurance company. Despite her preparation, she struggled to access her communication skills in these high-stakes meetings. She described forgetting what she wanted to say or do, her breathing becoming erratic, and her body feeling cold. “Yes,” she admitted, “I kept getting anxious.” Even though she visualized success beforehand, she “lost her composure” when it mattered most. Self-coaching didn’t work, nor did sessions with another MBA student. Her anxiety continued to undermine her performance.

The effect

As an MBA graduate with a coaching background, she was eager to negotiate a university-led coaching course in Tehran (not with me—I’m done with the insurance industry!). Yet, despite her role as an insurance agent, she froze during negotiations. “I’d lose my words instantly,” she said, her ambition replaced by anxiety. She felt a “mental barrier” blocking her, though finances weren’t the issue—she just couldn’t perform. She’d hear her voice falter, see managers waiting for her input, and feel cold dread take over. Knowing her skills should shine, she was frustrated they didn’t. Before NLP, she tried self-coaching and peer support, but nothing broke the cycle. Desperate, she attended my negotiation workshop, pleading, “Help me.”

Solution

In a dynamic 20-minute session during my negotiation workshop, I empowered my client using targeted NLP techniques. First, I applied kinesthetic anchoring, guiding her to a calm state with a simple hand gesture she could reuse. Then, with the Circle of Excellence, she tapped into her desired skills—powerful tonality, confident body language, and steady eye contact—visualizing them vividly. We rehearsed her presenting confidently, her voice firming up as laughter from fellow attendees lightened the mood. The room felt alive—playful yet purposeful—as she shed her nerves.

I asked, “How will you keep these skills close?” She grinned, packing them into an “imaginary handbag,” her fingers curling as if gripping it. She walked away clutching that mental tool, ready for her next meeting. While she attended five 3-hours negotiation workshop sessions overall, this 20-minute breakthrough was pivotal. It’s fast, focused NLP in action—shifting anxiety to assurance with practical, repeatable techniques.

Result

Beyond a standard “Thank you, I feel more confident,” she shared a breakthrough. By the third session of my negotiation course, she confidently pitched an idea to a senior manager. “I was happy with my performance,” she beamed. Budget constraints limited their response to sales training, but that wasn’t the point. “I met with the Development Manager four times in total” she said, laughing. “They weren’t even opposing me—I was just too nervous to talk before!” When I asked about her “imaginary handbag” (an NLP tool we used), she grinned, “It’s with me everywhere now.” 

And the moral of the story: 

Anxiety can silence even the most prepared—until the right tools unlock your voice.