Resolving Workplace Conflict Using NLP Submodality Change

The challenge

The client, a professional woman, found herself in a challenging situation with a new micromanaging manager whose communication style was unclear and overwhelming. This led to frequent miscommunication, leaving her frustrated and misunderstood. The situation escalated to the point where, just days before the New Year holidays, she seriously considered quitting her job—a decision that felt both urgent and distressing.

Before exploring NLP, the client had attempted other coping strategies, such as discussing the issue with friends. However, these conversations failed to provide actionable solutions or relief. She felt stuck, unable to find a way to navigate the conflict or cope with the emotional toll it was taking on her.

The effect

In an attempt to cope, she tried adopting a nonchalant attitude, which unintentionally led to ignoring her manager altogether. This, in turn, resulted in harsh verbal interactions, making her feel even more trapped and helpless. She cried frequently, felt miserable most of the time, and saw her career prospects in jeopardy. She realized that quitting after just 11 months in the role wouldn’t improve her job opportunities. Caught in an internal conflict, she experienced two opposing inner voices: one urging her to resign, and the other advising her to endure. The emotional turmoil left her feeling stuck, exhausted, and unable to think clearly.

She saw a bleak future for her career, with quitting seeming like a dead end. She heard the loud, opposing inner voices fueling her indecision. She felt overwhelming frustration, sadness, and a sense of helplessness, compounded by physical tension and emotional exhaustion.

Solution

I guided her to explore the direction and sound qualities of these conflicting inner voices. Interestingly, she noticed that each voice originated from a different side of her head—one advocating for resignation and the other for endurance. Using NLP submodality techniques, I helped her modify the auditory qualities of these internal voices. By imagining an invisible knob and physically mimicking the action of turning it, she learned to adjust the volume and control the intensity of each voice.

Then something remarkable happened. During this process of adjusting inner sounds, she discovered a previously unnoticed third voice, positioned behind her head. This voice suggested an alternative approach—leveraging her interpersonal skills to recognize and validate her manager’s leadership style in order to gain the autonomy she desired. When she amplified the volume of this newfound voice, she experienced a profound shift: an energetic sensation in her chest, similar to the warmth she feels when connecting with someone she likes, accompanied by a distinct humming sound in her right ear. I anchored this empowering state, and immediately, her entire expression brightened.

Result

A one hour NLP session had a transformative impact on the client's relationship with her challenge. She reported feeling significantly more empowered, with a renewed sense of agency and curiosity toward her manager. Instead of frustration and avoidance, she now approached him as a puzzle to be solved, confident in her ability to navigate the dynamic.

The next day at work, she consciously accessed her anchored state, telling herself, "I know how to deal with this." This shift in mindset allowed her to engage with her manager more effectively, using validation and recognition to build rapport while advocating for the autonomy she needed. She reported that this approach not only reduced tension but also improved their communication, making interactions less stressful and more productive.

Beyond the workplace, the client found herself applying this resourceful state in her personal life. For example, when meeting new people she wanted to connect with, she would access the anchored feeling to approach them with curiosity and confidence. This unexpected benefit further enhanced her sense of empowerment and emotional resilience.