It's no longer painful - and that feels like quite a gift.

From the pain and sadness of losing her father to a much lighter, more optimistic and stronger self. She felt light and positive.

It's no longer painful - and that feels like quite a gift.

Posted by Yvonne Fernando on

The challenge

This case study has been written up together with my client and with their approval. To protect their confidentiality, I will refer to my client as L.

L had gone through the trauma of seeing her Dad die and living with him during the time he was ill. The sadness was overwhelming and she had started to emotionally eat. L felt very low. Life was very stressful and she felt very anxious.

L had been to the GP for medication as she wasn't coping with things; pressures of work and a young family. She had a few counselling sessions via her GP before coming to see me. She realised she needed to move on from that part of her life.

The effect

L felt overwhelmed and wanted to feel lighter about life. She had got to overload, was feeling empty and drained. She hadn't really linked this to her Dad's death and hadn't realised it had all become draining. She felt she had no time or energy.


In our initial session, L told me what had been going on and I identified what needed to be addressed first. Although it wasn't what L thought she had come for, she put her trust in me. At times L says it was hard to hear things but she really liked that we addressed things straightaway. For example, the Grief & Loss NLP technique allowed us to work with this in one session. Although more came up, L liked we dealt with things effectively and it felt cathartic and gentle. L felt facilitated and guided and didn't feel there were lots of loose ends.

Most sessions were done conversationally, sometimes using specific NLP techniques, also some time management and creative visualisation work.

L liked the animals being part of her sessions, their cuddles and intuition. The environment and surrounding nature had a lovely feeling which helped her relax despite feeling a bit nervous.

L says she always feels with NLP there are solutions. "You feel like you're chipping away at stuff. It feels refreshing you're talking about it and dealing with it. And dealing with it, deep within you. It feels optimistic."


The pain and sadness went away. L was amazed how much it changed her thought processes about her Dad. She had previously felt negative and sad talking about her Dad - but 2-3 weeks after the session, she felt light and positive - it was a really good feeling.

L felt much lighter, more optimistic and able to deal with her Mum and her grief; living with her and seeing her. She felt stronger and in touch with her own resources which allowed her to move forwards for herself, her family, husband, children and particularly with her Mum. Every time she saw her Mum the absence of her Dad was apparent. Although L misses him, it's no longer painful - and that feels like quite a gift.

L changed her relationship with food, started running, learnt to say no and improved her relationship with herself and others.

Sessions with L have continued over the years on an ad-hoc basis when L felt she would like to address something. L says, each time, no matter what you do, you feel you're like mending. It's a hopeful and optimistic way of dealing with stuff in your life.

Yvonne Fernando
Yvonne Fernando

Yvonne Fernando is a certified NLP Master Practitioner & Life Coach who works with adults, children and organisations to help them make positive change.